"He is God's problem now"
A son writes a unique obituary remembering his father
This week, I thought I would share this very unusual obituary, which I filed because I enjoyed it so much. It was written by Charles Boehm in memory of his somewhat eccentric father, who died in Clarendon, Texas in October, 2024.
Charles writes about his father’s life in a bold, unsentimental way, which in the end is also warm-hearted, humorous and refreshingly grounded.
A number of newspapers picked up on this at the time.
Robert Adolph Boehm
May 6, 1950 - Oct. 6, 2024
Robert Adolph Boehm, in accordance with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, muttered his last unintelligible and likely unnecessary curse on Oct.6, 2024, shortly before tripping backward over “some stupid &%#$ thing” and hitting his head on the floor.
Robert was born in Winters, Texas, to the late Walter Boehm and Betty Smith on May 6, 1950, after which God immediately and thankfully broke the mold and attempted to cover up the evidence. Raised Catholic, Robert managed to get his wife, Dianne, pregnant (three times) fast enough to just barely miss getting drafted into the Vietnam War by fathering, Michelle, John and Charlotte between 1967 and 1972. Much later, with Robert possibly concerned about the brewing conflict in Grenada, Charles was born in 1983.
This lack of military service was probably for the best, as when taking up shooting as a hobby in his later years, he managed to blow not one, but two holes in the dash of his own car on two separate occasions, which unfortunately did not even startle, let alone surprise, his dear wife, Dianne, who was much accustomed to such happenings in his presence and may have actually been safer in the jungles of Vietnam the entire time.
While the world was in conflict elsewhere, Robert made do by learning to roof and to maintain traffic signs with the City of Amarillo, and eventually becoming a semiprofessional truck driver - not to be confused with a professional semitruck driver.
With peace on the horizon, Robert’s attention somewhat counterintuitively drifted to weapons of war, spanning the historical and geographical spectrum from the atlatl of 19,000 B.C. France, to the sjambok of 1830s Africa, to the Mosin-Nagant m1891 of WWII-era Soviet Union. So many examples of these mainstream hobbyist examples litter his small Clarendon, Texas, apartment that one of them may very well have been the item referenced in the aforementioned eloquent final epitaph.
A man of many interests, Robert was not to be entranced by historical weapons alone, but also had a penchant for fashion, frequently seen about town wearing the latest trend in homemade leather moccasins, a wide collection of unconventional hats, and boldly mismatched shirts and pants.
Robert also kept a wide selection of harmonicas on hand - not to play personally, but to prompt his beloved dogs to howl continuously at odd hours of the night to entertain his many neighbors, and occasionally to give to his many, many, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren to play loudly during long road trips with their parents.
Earlier this year, in February, God finally showed mercy upon Dianne, getting her the hell out of there for some well-earned peace and quiet. Without Dianne to gleefully entertain, Robert shifted his creative focus to the entertainment of you, the fine townspeople of Clarendon, Texas. Over the last eight months, if you have not met Robert or seen his road show yet, you probably would have soon.
We have all done our best to enjoy/weather Robert’s antics up to this point, but he is God’s problem now.
Robert’s farewell tour will be held on Monday, Oct. 14th, 2024 at 10 a.m. at Memorial Park Funeral Home, 6969 E. Interstate 40 Hwy., Amarillo, TX 79118. The family encourages you to dust off whatever outdated or inappropriate combination of clothing you have available to attend. A tip jar will be available in the front; flowers are also acceptable.
A couple of recent sketches
A man walking with his children in the False Creek neighbourhood, Vancouver.
An unusual tree with a hollowed out base of the trunk where new shoots are taking root.
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On the subject of drawing, I’d like to revisit this previous post about one of the great pioneers of literary graphic novels.
Thanks for being here! See you again soon.
-Renato
The best and most honest obituary I’ve ever seen. Thanks 🙏
This is priceless. I have saved it and will share with my son and daughter. This is the kind of obit I want to mark my passing. This one moved me to tears - of laughter. What a fantastic and living memorial.